Wherever You Go, There You Are
Dear Friends,
In 1995, my parents took my siblings and me to see the Brady Bunch movie. Somewhere in the movie, the old quote “Wherever you go, there you are” appears, and my parents could not get enough of it. From what I understood at the time, they thought the saying was inane–the biggest “duh” of all time, with no insight whatsoever. A Yogi Berra-ism packaged for the masses.
I was a kid, so his context was lost on me, but I remember my dad saying this phrase weekly.
At the grocery store: Wherever you go, there you are!
Making fun of someone who wasn’t using common sense: Wherever you go, there you are!
At the neighborhood pool: Wherever you go, there you are!
It was like a chorus of mockery that sang out for a whole decade of my life. Looking back, I’m sure my dad also understood the quote on a deeper level. But me? I thought it was a joke.
Lately I’ve been seeing it in a new way, beginning when I saw this great New Yorker cartoon by Will McPhail (this sketch also made me cackle)--both via Austin Kleon.
I’m halfway through what’s turned into an annual summer thing: The “Grand Tour,” where we go visit family and friends on a multi-state road trip. Usually, we’re attempting the Grand Tour because we’re home from overseas and only have a few weeks to see everyone. This year, I think we’re just gluttons for punishment. Because wherever you go, there you are.
And if you’re a toddler, and you have a lot of feelings at home, well, GUESS WHAT.
Last summer, I had all these expectations. I was going to take my kid to the beach for the first time. It was going to be MAGICAL. She would get to play with her cousins, which would be AMAZING. I couldn’t wait to get a break with all those extra adults around! I couldn’t wait to eat delicious fresh produce and stay up late gabbing with my sisters!
Did it go that way? Well, I mean, technically, yes, we did eat some watermelon. But my daughter was in the throes of a major developmental leap, and she spent the whole trip clinging to me like the worst octopus, refusing to let anyone else care for her. She also refused to nap. And me? I was still anxious. Still neurotically trying to control my daughter’s schedule to make things easier. Still the exact same as at home, only now with all of my belongings inaccessibly crammed into a duffel bag. It was a blast.
This summer, I’m going in with major “wherever you go, there you are” energy. It is not a vacation: it is a trip. It is not a holiday: it is parenting with a view. Babies be babies, and all that.
Anticipation is one of life’s truly great joys, and I’m always trying not to crush it too much. But there’s also value in expectations-setting when you’re giving yourself a reality check. If you hate the heat in Virginia, you’re really going to hate it in Florida.
Maybe we should blame Elizabeth Gilbert, but travel isn’t always the catalyst for change or improvement that we think it will be. So often, change in our lives comes from unexpected sources, or just through hard, intentional work.
It is better, perhaps, when embarking on whatever literal or metaphorical Grand Tour you’re planning, to set your sights low and hope to be surprised. This summer, I expect we will be entirely ourselves: cranky, anxious, and likely coming down with a cold. I hope things will wind up better than that. So far we’ve had one great week in Atlanta and one mostly-great week at the beach—minus my daughter literally shoving her head in the sand during professional family photos. But have we gotten to eat watermelon? We have. In that regard, my expectations have been fully and delightfully met.
Take good care,
Dot
News & Updates
Join us for an online workshop where you’ll learn the Zentangle Method of Drawing from the comfort of your space.
WHAT: Online Zentangle Introduction Class, hosted by Adele Stuckey, certified Zentangle teacher
WHEN: Tuesday, June 28th at 5PM-6PM EST Live OR watch the recorded class later on your own time. More dates coming soon.
WHERE: Online
COST: $40
REGISTER: https://creativehealthcollective.com/online-workshops
No art experience is required to participate. The Zentangle Method of Drawing uses easy-to-follow instructions and repetitive lines or shapes to draw intricate, unique pieces of artwork. Purchase materials in advance or use whatever you have on hand (suggested materials list to come). Online classes are LIVE at the time of the event and will be recorded for those who purchase a ticket.
Blog Posts
Are you reading this on your phone right now? And how long have you been scrolling? If you’ve noticed a change in your happiness, attention span, and memory, it may be a hard truth, but your phone could be to blame. Addiction specialist and art therapist Laura Miles offers some suggestions on how to break up with your phone and reclaim your brain in this post.
This year’s global 100 Day Project came to a close in May, but if you’re familiar with the “rules,” you know that many people stop and start as they go, or decide not to complete 100 days after all. In this blog, we’re doing a final check-in with Celeste Cantees, Dot Dannenberg, and Adele Stuckey about how their projects have wrapped up.
Links We Like
How many friends do you really need? (NYT)
A visually appealing mood tracker app.
Artist in residence…at the New York Sanitation Department (NYT).
Ambivalence about motherhood is normal (NYT).
Was my baby actually difficult, or just born in a pandemic?
We’re ignoring a major culprit behind the teen mental health crisis: sleep deprivation (WaPo).
Your camera roll contains a masterpiece. The challenge is finding it. (New Yorker)
Favorite art this week.
Also: oil paintings of Cheetos.
That’s a stress response: all the ways your body is still reacting to the pandemic.
How to take things less personally.
A delight: wear more art!
The in-between. Photo by Filipa Cordeiro: