Questions for the New Year
Dear Friends,
I’m having a hard time getting into the spirit of the New Year. I told a friend I was “not feeling #newyearvibes at all,” and she was like, “What do you mean by #newyearvibes?”
Anything I hashtag is always a joke, but I guess I meant I’m not feeling the promised, commercialized refresh. New Year, New You. Even stripped of diet culture and toxic positivity, the new year usually brings feelings of a new start. A surge of energy for tackling new projects. And this year? I’m feeling neither. I’m still tired from 2021 (or…uh…maybe also 2020). Nothing much feels exciting. Omicron and the giant snowstorm have me trapped in a house with a toddler whose new favorite phrase is “NOT LIKE IT.”
So I turned to the team for a reframe–how are the therapists thinking about the New Year this year?
Matthew Brooks says, “Reflecting on the year is always a good exercise, but it can come with a helping of toxic positivity. There’s pressure to simply let go of issues you’re struggling with when you shift into the new year–but letting go is easier said than done. When someone tells you ‘just let go of it!,’ it rarely feels helpful, and it disregards your feelings on the subject. Instead of asking what you might let go from 2021, this year I’m asking, ‘What do you want to forgive yourself for, from 2021?’”
Approaching the new year with a sense of gentleness and forgiveness feels like a good place to start.
Laura Miles had this to say about the New Year:
“I saw this great tweet that said, ‘not making any resolutions this year, it’s the situation’s turn to improve,’ and honestly, I’ve thought about that every single day for weeks. It always comes up, this time of year, to reflect back on what’s happened and look forward to what’s coming next. When working with clients, I do like to bring up the idea of goals, but I’m taking a different approach from traditional goal-setting this year. Instead, I’m framing it with one or both of the following statements:
What emotions do you want to understand better in the coming year?
What do you want to learn about yourself that you don’t already know?”
“I feel more energized by seeking wonder and curiosity, which can be totally open-ended ideas, leading to endless possibilities. If I try to create something specific or get rid of something specific, how can I be sure that it’s the right thing for me? What if, instead, I was just open to the possibility of exploration? Of discovery? Of pure creative energy? That feels more aligned with how I want to live in the transitional space of one year to another.”
In my exhausted state, asking questions feels like a good way to ease into the new year. What, from last year, should I forgive? What emotions do I want to understand? What do I want to learn about myself? The answers don’t immediately come to mind. But I am asking. And in this time of renewed global panic and disruption, it feels grounding to be still: to listen to myself and the universe for answers.
Take good care,
Dot
News & Updates
Due to the Omicron variant, we have decided to postpone our January Zentangle workshop. Entering into another season of uncertainty is never easy. We hope to gather together again when it is safe to do so. To receive updates about future workshops (including potential virtual workshops), you can sign up for the Creative Health Collective newsletter here.
Blog Posts
By now, someone’s probably sent you the terrible (but darkly funny?) tweet saying “let’s make Year Three of Covid the best one yet!!” Something about the new year feels different this year…
Links We Like
Breaking up with control–a tale of love and loss with OCD.
Sometimes you just need a good cry, and if that’s you right now, I feel like this or this will probably get you there.
The brilliant Heather Havrilesky on how to declutter your goals, because our current logic about having too much to do isn’t working: “For example, I am not allowed to blow dry my hair or drive to the excellent local bakery for a treat but I am permitted to doomscroll at any time of the day, for several hours a day if the mood strikes.”
Parenting young kids is hard. And if you say that, someone’s bound to pipe up, “Just you wait.” So…does it ever get easier?
“Worry burnout” is real. (NYT)
Are you a parent who identifies as a highly sensitive person? Feel seen here. I also loved this list of things about parenting that are much harder than expected.
“In real life, good things are allowed to be easy.” (NYT)
Children with Sparklers, Provincetown 1958, by Robert Frank (1924-2019) via Le Jardin Robo:
